Do you wrestle with your faith sometimes? It's okay if you do, because I have been there and done that. I still go through tough seasons following Christ.
Here are a few things I have found are helpful as I wrestle with things of my faith:
1. Don't struggle alone - I have made this mistake way too many times. Talk to others about your difficulties. Dialogue with friends. Sometimes you might feel embarrassed, but you wouldn't believe how many people have thought the same things or been through similar things.
2. Seek wise counsel - Everyone has a person (or persons) in their life that they consider wise. There are definitely people at Grace that you can go to that may have a good word for you. At the very least, they can offer a different perspective or affirm you in your thoughts. If you're not sure who to ask, let me point you toward some peeps.
3. Read the scriptures - Temper all of your questions with the continual reading of the scriptures. Even if the object of your confusion may be the scriptures, keep reading them. The bible is truth and as you ingest it there is a supernatural process that continues the more you are reading it. Many people spend more times reading books about the bible instead of the bible itself, so be careful to not just read only other books.