December 2, 2009

Help! I fallen and...

Well I hurt my back again and am stuck laying (lying; lain; I never got that one in English, so my apologies if my word choice is incorrect) on my back. So, I have decided to make the most of my immobilization and blog it out.

A funny thing happens when you hurt your back. You realize how fragile you are as a human being. I mean one second you are moving along just fine and the next second you find yourself lying (laying; lain; lederhosen) on the ground staring at the ceiling hoping no one stops by your office to taunt you or steal anything off your desk .

I feel like such an idiot with back pain. Because unlike a broken ankle with the bone protruding and all, back pain really isn't visible to the observer. Usually people assume that you have some sort of incontinence problem and are wincing to hold it in, or that you have worn your belt one notch too tight, or that you have an acute late-blooming onset of the rickets. (Those are the most common three diagnoses that I receive... really... in that order.)

So you just wince and tell the observer, "Man, my back really hurts!" But you still get no solace, because as far as they can see you just look like you need a laxative. All I'm saying is there are two kinds of people in this world. Those that have never had severe back pain and those who have. There is no in between. People either know exactly what you are talking about or they "pretend" to know what you are talking about-never actually having experienced it firsthand. Oh. But you can tell the difference between those people, believe you me!!! okay... now Im getting a little bit cynical, but it's making me feel better. And as this is MY blog, I think it is okay that I do that. You can go on YOUR blog and talk about factitious disorders and what not, but on this particular blog... okay, I digress... :)

We are fearfully and wonderfully made. I think to truly appreciate the "wonderful" we also have to be aware of our fragility. Think about how we come into this world. All tiny, fragile, clueless and ...gooey. We cant feed ourselves, we cant use all of our faculties, we cant defend ourselves if a hungry Bengal tiger happened to barge into the delivery room. But God designed us this way... for a reason.

Why the heck would God make us so fragile? Im not 100% sure, but it stands to reason that God would do this to graciously remind us of our need for others, and our ultimate need for Him. And in this I am humbled. In this I am thankful. And in this I find rest. (backpain notwithstanding.) ;)